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A Message that has been long time forgotten dated : Thu, 29 April, 2010 5:21:14 PM

TIBOR………

    I know that our times together have always been great and I know things happen unexpectedly and it’s nobody’s fault. I have given things a lot of thought through out the day yesterday and night and this morning. I tend to rationalize things and to keep on asking why you did not reply on my messages both phone and e-mail. After I got your message this morning, it really made me so glad.
    I know i get upset or disappointed when I am not able to communicate with you. As you get disappointed too when you are unable to see me online. But it always give me something to look forward to the next time I do chat with you.
    I am not trying to rush things hon, but I can’t wait until certain things speed up and so, I’ll be at your side forever without having to be so long apart. What I’m getting at is,  you know I want only you, and no matter what, I want to be with you – In sickness and in health.
    As I have never loved anyone like I love you, I will never want anyone else as long as I live.
    I am not thinking negatively, but I want to grow old with you, but if some odd fatal chance something happened to you, I would never marry or see anyone for the rest of my days on Earth.
    My love for you is so strong and overpowering that it will never shared with anyone but you. I woke up near the middle of the night last night in tears from the Promise I am giving you.
    I thought of this song and I thought about us.” Don’t want to close my eyes, don’t want to full asleep cause I’d miss you baby, and I don’t want to miss a thing.
    I love you TIBOR URKOM!!!!
Yours Forever,
MARICEL

I love you, but you are so far away.

I saw in your eyes today when you realized what I had done – treating you like a baby. May be you don’t really mean it, but I was at loss of words crying. I saw in your eyes the pain, hurt and you wanted to break free. You felt I’m replacing your mother. But now that I understand the gravity of what I’ve done, my actions have me with remorse.
 
Why can’t I understand that you don’t want to be treated this way? Why is it so hard for me to understand that you don’t want me to check up on you because you want me to trust you even you give me worries? The misery I feel now show in how I talk to you and how I respond to your chats. I just don’t know if it’s our cultures or our attitudes have dissimilarities.
It’s just misunderstanding comes in because I think that ” checking up on you and showing concern” is my way of loving. But for you it made you feel stuck and your choking and can’t breathe (obsessiveness). What few problems we’ve had in the past have repeated all over again. Therefore, you don’t want me to be part of that beautiful times you had with your  working mates and let you do your own way with out me. I felt left.
We’ve been able to work through them with very little trouble before, right? But, why it happens again and again. Is it because we can’t forget after we move on? I know I’m really expecting a lot to ask you to continue making our plans with me, but I know it’s hard for you make plans with the person who makes you sick.
I don’t know what kind of love you do need and how you want me to love you. But, this is the best way I know that I can give – to look after you and to ask wherever you are and if you eat or your home. If these questions are so annoying, I’m sorry. Just don’t forget all the good times we shared and may you understand that’s how I am. All I want is to have a dialog with you and have willingness to open up yourself and keeping no secrets. I was expecting that wife should know how you are and what you feel.
I’m really sorry that these things made us feel differently. Now, I don’t know honey, I don’t know now how to make you happy and only least I can do is to check up on you.  Please tell me how? I will do it from now on because I want to save my love for you. Honestly, it’s hard to be away from you. I felt so limited, powerless, uninspired and unloved. If we keep on like this, I don’t think long distance relationship will work for us.

February 7,2013, Thursday :Our last days together before he departs back to Australia

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I just look so happy, but you can see in my eyes, I am hurt.

Have you tried being away from your love ones? How do you feel? When he told me he was leaving, it felt like my heart had ripped out.

I have tried to be feeling okay, but I am not. I do everything like making myself busy, just not to remember him, but there’s a pain that cuts like a knife inside that I’ve never felt before. Before when were having a long distance relationship, it was just fine. I felt excited when he’s online. It was just like an ordinary days.But now, you know the feeling that  there’s a missing link in your being. You couldn’t understand why. Suddenly, when you sleep at night, you can feel the tears on your checks. Your tears are welling in your eyes. You know you are terribly in pain because you miss him so badly.

I thought I can move on and do a normal life after he’s away, but it’s not. Everyday is getting much more difficult to carry out my everyday plans. I become lazy and unmotivated. Just can’t help it ,but I have to face the reality that we are no longer together. He is in Australia, while I am in the Philippines. Again, how we started as cyber lovers will end up as cyber married couple. I have to face that I am going to miss his touch, his kiss, his caress, his all being; I know I can’t do all these online. All I can do is to wait for him until he comes back in my arms.

***

You and I will meet again
When we’re least expecting it
One day in some far off place
I will recognize your face
I won’t say goodbye my friend
For you and I will meet again
-Tom Petty-

Tibor Urkom, do take care of yourself and keep the memories of our friendship and love a fresh. I will miss you and I’ve never getting over the pain. Parting with you is like parting my spirit. It makes me broken in spirit and soul. There’s no goodbye honey; just say, we’ll see you soon… until we meet again. I love you and I miss you like crazy.

Köszönöm Szépen Szivem!

 

 

Köszönöm szépen Szivem!

 

There are things in life that are inevitable, I am powerless to control them. The Sun will rise and set, the tide will come in and go out, the seasons will changed, the birds will fly. Caterpillar will transform itself into a beautiful butterfly.

 

I can’t control the moment you are away and now soon we will be together. I can’t even control our destiny that somehow, God will make our  best Love story.

 

Tibor,  from the moment we’ve meet again I will let you know that my love for you is burning very brightly. My heart longs  to be warmed when I passionately feel as I caress your face, stare into your beautiful face and tenderly kiss while you are lying on your bed at night. My heart longs to express my love for you especially now it’s your birthday. I love you honey more than you’ve ever known.

 

Hon, It’s hard to express how much I love you, so I write down for you.If you were here,  we could have candle light dinner and we had precious time together while you did dance with me in a soft melody. Wow!!! I could cook for you and we could eat in a simple dinner with wine as we celebrate our love on your birthday. We could spend the whole night together and forever.

 

I know you feel the same, but you are so miles away from me hon. I am missing you so much. If I can only touch you tonight on your birthday, if only I could, I would do all the things I could to express my love to you.

I want to romance and make love with you because I love you. I want all your heart.

 

I feel that I am so lucky that I have given chance  to love someone like you and be loved back.  Until the moment we tie the knot, I send to you across the mile my love, my warm embrace and my most passionate kiss.

 

 

I honestly love you,

 

Maricel

 

 

I Love You Honey

 

My beloved Tibor, 

I love you honey! Just writing to put smile on your face. I know how difficult you go through right now.

I love you honey because of your sweetness, your kindness, your tenderness and your thoughtfulness. Because of what happen, I’ve realized how much you love me.  If there is someone I would call in the middle of the night because of an emergency it were you. Thank you coz, I am the first person you could think of during an emergency like this.

In this time, i love you even more. I love you because I have been longing to get close to you again. I know you long to be close to me now. Hope you could feel how much I love you. I love cuddling with you as we sleep and watch TV. Hope I can be more expressive when we are together. Honestly, I love to be near you. I love holding your hand on a walk during the day.

You know, I want to hold your hands now, to make you feel that everything will be fine. I won’t leave you. I will assure you that I am here to stay despite of the storms that come on our way.

I love you Tibor because you listen to me as I share the small triumphs or struggles of the day. You never tired nor complain. You give me so much attention.

My love for each other is the important reason to live. You are healthy and young…

I know you will be fine. I love you honey. I want to see you getting older and have gray hair  holding hands and kissing each other.

I love you because in moments of friction between us, you hear me out when I explain. Even when you don’t agree with me, you listen with longing to understand me and persevere. I love because as much as possible you are careful every words you have said that won’t hurt me. You never did.

I love you because you respect me. You honor the woman I am. You love me for who I am even  I have tried to change to please you but here you are loving me for who I am. You suffer my imperfections and shortcomings largely without complaint.

I love you because you appreciate me. You enjoy and appreciate my efforts to make love with you.

I miss you honey…

 

Lovingly yours,

Che

 

 

 

Perfect Match (January 7, 2011)

Time flies fast. It’s unbelievable that we’ve reach this far. Every second hon, I am thinking of you, and I wish that you were here with me now. I keep on imagining what we are doing together. It’s hard but I have done that all these years. I can’t Imagine what my life will be without you.

I can’t describe how much I love you. I don’t want to make this feeling to go away. We will be renewing our love everyday. I am happy when I received your messages in phone and email or offline. It makes me feel renewed. I am always thinking on one of the night when shared the fruit of love. The more time we spend together the more I fascinate you. It is not only the physical attraction, though. You will enjoy kissing me, touching me , feeling me warmth against you. I will always give you sign that I love you by giving you my kisses and hugs.
I am not like the other women you associated with. I am warmth honey and I can love you sincerely the kind of love you never have before. I will take care of you until you get old and have a gray hair.
So for all those times we have been ever fought or argued “I am sorry. Thank you for being you. You never tell me any words that will hurt me. I thank you for that. Thank you for giving me God’s most beautiful gift, YOUR LOVE.

I Appreciate You ( December 21, 2010)

 

 

 

 

Time flies so fast, now, we are celebrating another year 2011.
 For all this year that we are together, I thought I  can write only 10 good points about you, but for my surprised I able to write more than that.That is why I love you and I can’t afford to hate ‘coz you have a lot of genuine characters. I have a lot to discover next year after we finally get together. I have a lot of reasons to love you more and to stay, honey.
1. I love your helpfulness with your neighbors. Even you have to stop chatting with me just to send him in the airport and helping your neighbor in fixing his garden make me happy. I like you when you do good things to other people.
2.You are very responsible in your job. You have to wake up late at night just to fix the power. You also make sure you give your very best in your job.
3.You persevere even how hard the things are for you.You persevere in your work and even in our relationship.I know sometimes I make you upset because I was jealous. You explain yourself so to save my trust in you.
4. You understand my thoughts and feelings. You are very careful in your words that make sure it won’t hurt me.
5. You are very optimistic. A person who has positive disposition. You remind of trusting God when I am in trouble finding my new job and being depressed when I am having problem in work.
6. You are the encourager. You encourage me to never give up on you and to my job.You give me a very good advice and assure me that I won’t suffer when we will be together.
7. You like to show your love in actions. You are very thoughtful and generous by giving a special surprises. I like the things you give me. The dress, Ipod Tab and camera. They are  very useful for me honey.
8. You never get tired sending my “I love you” messages everyday.You call me and even send me SMS and IM. You are very loving.
9. You like to be always connected with me.You value communication. I make you feel crazy when I never communicate with you that is why I have to make sure I won’t miss a single day to send you a love message.
10. I love the way you love yourself. You are fit physically. You take care of yourself. I think we are compatible in this sense.
I love you honey. I appreciate everything you have done to me.Merry Christmas!